The other night I was Skyping with one of my best friends. She lives in Holland and I live in America, so we don’t get to talk often. I trust her so much, and every time we talk I just feel so loved. She’s amazing.
I was talking to her about cutting, and started telling her about how I sometimes take pictures of my self-harm instead of writing about it, or in addition to writing about it. I don’t normally show people the pictures, but I sent her a few. She had been sharing her screen with me because I’d been watching her draw something, so I saw when she opened the files.
She opened this picture, kept it on the screen for a few seconds, closed it, and opened it again in Photoshop. I watched, confused, thinking it had been an accident.
I watched quietly while she erased every line of blood, every scar, every cut from my body. I started recording the screen without thinking- I needed to be able to watch it again. I knew I would need to feel that sense of… relief. That there was someone in my life who knew the extent of me and could still see through to something beautiful.
I wanted to share this with you because I think it’s important. If you feel anything close to how I felt when I saw this, I’m happy. Because you should know that it’s possible to be loved, underneath the pain and the scars and the blood. We are all beautiful.
You’re beautiful, and above all, you are not alone.